Where do I start?
Let’s start with Monday’s. I’m not in love with them and it’s not because it’s the start of the work week. It’s because I know I’ll be on my own in the evening, every single Monday night … well I would said at least 95% of Monday night’s I am on my own. And fair enough, my husband has training at the Fire Hall where he is a volunteer. I’m not mad that I am on my own I simply don’t look forward to being on my own, now with 2 girls to deal with.
Okay, moving on. Tonight was no different. Dinner, play, bath, bed. I kinda lost it between bath and bed, this is where the story starts.
At 6:45 pm I bathed Hilary, got her ready for bed and nursed her. I told Lilly to get a book or toy and play in the hallway so I could see her while I rocked Hilary to sleep. Normally… ha ha, I said normally! Okay, seriously. I usually can get Hilary to sleep within 15-20 minutes of nursing and rocking her then into her bed. That didn’t happen tonight. Lilly was doing her best to keep quiet and even said to me “Mommy, I will walk on my tip toes softly” ….God love her, she meant well and I am really proud of her tonight. Then she found her fire truck and played quietly in my bedroom doorway. Then she hit the nee naw button and Hilary woke up. Failure number 1 at getting Hilary to bed.
I quietly told Lilly not to press the buttons and to read a book. “Okay Mama, I’ll read a book” she said. Hilary decided it was time to talk and sing her life story to me. Failure number 2 at getting her to sleep.
Forty-five minutes later I decided that I would bath Lilly and Hilary will just have to lay on a soft blanket on the bathroom floor while I bath Lilly in 2 minutes…maybe it was less. I dunno. I was so frustrated but managed to not raise my voice (which I will admit, I have done from time to time and hate myself for) but I told both girls I wasn’t mad at them but I was just frustrated. I told Lilly that they have done nothing wrong and that she was going to have a quick bath, 1 song for bed and maybe 2 books AFTER I got Hilary to sleep. She pleasantly agreed with me!
Lilly was in her pj’s and I was drying her hair and I realised I forgot to brush her teeth and asked her to go pee. So, we did that. Hilary wasn’t too happy about being involved in Lilly’s bed time routine so we sang as many songs to keep her occupied as possible.
At 8 pm, a good hour after Hilary would normally (I said it again…ha ha normally) go to bed – she wasn’t asleep so I did what I am assuming parents do: I left her in her crib for a few minutes and she cried. You can say I am a bad mother but she was safe and my frustration level went down. Lilly got her two books and I returned to Hilary a few minutes later. Picked her up, wrapped her in her blankets again, cuddled and rocked her to (almost) asleep. I put her in her bed and she grabbed my hand for dear life! Oh crap I thought, she’s not going to sleep. She had my thumb in one hand and rested her hand on top of two other fingers and relaxed enough to fall asleep.
The whole time all I wanted to do was go for a run. I wanted to run my frustrations off. Instead, I am writing this post and have managed to calm down a little….but I still want to go for a run….in the dark (it’s 9:04 pm right now).
Parenting is hard. It’s frustrating. Challenging. Not always easy….it’s not always as cracked up as it’s supposed to be. There have been times, especially when Sai was away at school for 7 months that I thought I was going to lose my mind. Seriously! I would call my mom and said “I need you here tonight/tomorrow” … “I need a break” … “I need help”.
It’s never easy to ask someone else for help but it sure beats getting so frustrated, mad, angry. Sometimes you just need to take a break, you need help and you need to know how to ask for it.
I’m off to get ready for a run as my husband is home now.
Let the little things go………………
PS – I had an awesome run tonight!
Ever get frustrated with your kids?
Who do you ask for help? Do you ask for help?
What do you do to get rid of stress?